In a city overrun by ICE raids, rising traffic deaths, collapsing transit, a homelessness crisis claiming seven lives a day, and police liability payouts large enough to destabilize the entire municipal budget, Los Angeles has at last turned its attention to the true source of civic instability: the Controller Kenneth Mejia’s adorable corgis.

Yes. The corgis.

According to a Very Serious Ethics Complaint filed by former State Sen. Isadore Hall, who is running against Mejia for City Controller, the real threat to democracy is the fact that a cartoon corgi wearing a deerstalker hat appears both on the Controller’s website and on his campaign materials. This is the level of emergency at which we now operate.

Hall somberly declared in his filing that the corgi is “adorable,” which is honestly the most bipartisan thing he’s said in years. Nevertheless, he insists that democracy collapses the moment a voter sees Sherlock Corgi on both a city document and a yard sign. It’s unclear how many Angelenos have been hypnotized into accidental civic engagement by a dog with a magnifying glass, but according to Hall the number is dangerously high.

Kenneth Mejia’s team, meanwhile, suggested that Hall is simply “jealous of our cute corgi graphics.” And just when you think this can’t get dumber, the campaign clarifies that the corgi on the city website and the corgi on the campaign materials are not the same image because one version is wearing glasses. Somewhere, a graphic designer is being asked to prepare sworn testimony about eyewear. An actual ethics expert quoted in coverage of the complaint politely noted that this is not the sort of thing that will “topple democracy,” which is an extremely professional way of saying: “Are you kidding me?”

But the absolute chef’s kiss of the whole saga is that the moment Hall tries to paint himself as a guardian of ethics, everyone is immediately reminded of his actual ethics issues. The ones involving:

• $7,812 spent on cigars and cigar lounge memberships
• $42,000 in airfare and hotels
• $11,000 for a Hawaiian Fairmont stay
• A $24,000 Federal Election Commission penalty

Hall’s position is that Mejia’s biggest ethical lapse is the inappropriate duplication of a corgi cartoon, while Hall himself spent enough on cigars to fund a small library branch. You almost have to admire the timing. One minute he’s attacking cartoon dogs, and the next minute his entire financial scandal résumé is back on display.

By the end of the coverage, even another candidate’s strategist basically shrugged and said Hall’s complaint is “not relevant,” which is political strategist code for “bless his heart.” Meanwhile, the actual corgis, Killa and Kirby (the most innocent civil servants in City Hall), remain blissfully unaware that their likenesses have sparked the most ridiculous ethics drama in recent municipal history. They just want more treats.